By David Slone
Times-Union
WARSAW — Prison is not a fate one wishes on anyone, but it can be a turning point in a person’s life, as it was for Mary Howard.
On Wednesday, she graduated from Reentry Court in Kosciusko County Superior Court I Judge Karin McGrath’s courtroom, with family, friends, community leaders and others present.
“Mary, I am so excited to be celebrating with you today,” McGrath told her. “Mary came to Reentry Court from the Department Of Correction back in November. She hit the ground running and she has not looked back.”
McGrath said those who work with people in recovery are taught all the time “you never know when a person’s time, when they are ready, to actually turn their life around, when they are ready for change. Ready to stop the vicious cycle of addiction, ready to live their life to the fullest – sober, productive, healthy, happy. Honestly, the number of criminal convictions, the length of time one is in addiction doesn’t always much matter. What matters is when a person is ready to make those changes for themselves. Ready to do the hard work to break that cycle, and this was obviously Mary’s time.’
She said she believes Howard began to decide she wanted to change while in prison.
Via teleconferencing, Kristina Compton, Indiana Department of Correction case manager for Howard, surprised Howard and told her, “I first would like to start off by saying congratulations. I’m so proud of you! Your hard work and dedication to yourself is definitely paying off. It was a complete honor to be here today. As a case worker, we don’t always get to see the end results of individuals, so seeing this side of things is just awesome.”
Compton recalled there were many tears shed in her office after they accomplished one task after another.
“You faced each step without hesitation and focused on making the changes you need for yourself. You did this for you, and that is a large contributing factor to your continued success. While incarcerated with the DOC, you were able to obtain your GED, complete your Win Soft Skills through Ivy Tech and the 100-Day Mentor Program,” Compton told Howard.
“… The day you received your packet from Kosciusko County, you were so excited about their program and how it would benefit your future.”
journey Howard’s had up until this moment has helped Howard build a solid foundation for her future, Compton said.
“I’m so proud of you for your accomplishment. Please continue to focus on yourself, and like we always say, don’t let the hard days win and you’ve got this. I’m so proud of you,” Compton concluded.
Retired Circuit Court Judge Mike Reed was the judge who sentenced Howard to prison a number of years ago.
It’s been a while since Reed had seen Howard, but when McGrath told Reed a few weeks ago about Howard’s progress and asked him to come speak at her graduation, Reed said he couldn’t be more pleased to do so.
“I think it’s fair to say, Mary, that anybody who needed to go to prison, it was you. And, as Judge McGrath has said, no one takes joy in that, but I think it’s a true statement,” Reed said. “But I went through the staffing today, I read your reports, I looked at what you have done in Reentry Court and I think it’s also fair to say that nobody has done a better job of taking advantage of the opportunities that they have while in prison. And, man, that’s amazing. That’s totally amazing.”
He said he believes the character of a person is shown by what they can achieve through hardships and overcoming adversities, and Howard’s done that. Reed told Howard he was super proud of her and her accomplishments since she was incarcerated and moved on.
Mother & Daughter
McGrath said the tragic reality of addiction is that it just doesn’t destroy the person who is addicted, but every part of the individual.
“It also affects their family. It affects their friends, neighborhoods. It affects entire communities,” McGrath said. “As for families, addiction affects them, of course, countless ways. Sometimes multiple members of the same family face the same struggles and they find themselves (grappling with) addiction as well.”
Howard’s family is not unusual in that way. McGrath said Howard struggled with her addiction right along with her husband, daughter and others.
“But I am so thrilled to tell you today that not only is Mary in recovery, her husband is in recovery, her daughter is in recovery, and I’m really thrilled to have her daughter, Shanelle (Byrer), here today with us and celebrating her mom’s accomplishments,” McGrath said.
Byrer said, in part, “Standing here today is something I never imagined I’d have the privilege of doing. Today isn’t just about talking about your graduation … today is celebrating the incredible woman that you became and the journey that it took to get here. I want you to know how proud of you I am, how proud we all are.”
She said the road wasn’t easy, as there were days filled with pain, disappointment, uncertainty and sacrifice. “But instead of letting those define you, you’ve let them change you. You chose to grow, you chose to fight, you chose to become the woman that is standing here today.”
With a graduation, people often see the graduation, certificate and accomplishment, Byrer continued.
“But I see much more than that. I see the tears no one else saw. I see the nights you wanted to give up, but didn’t. I see the strength it took to face your past, accept the responsibility and rebuild your life …,” Byrer said. “The Reentry program gave you the tools, the guidance and the support you needed, and, believe it or not, even prison became a part of your transformation. Neither of those things define who you are, but they become stepping stones that helped shape the amazing woman you’ve become.”
Byrer told Howard she became the mother she needed, and she became the daughter who gets to admire her mother instead of worrying about her.
“That’s a gift no one can ever take from us. Today when I look at you, I don’t see your mistakes, I don’t see your past. I see your fire, I see your compassion and I see your kindness. I see the way you generally care about people, and I see your strength, your honesty and your determination to never go back to the world you left behind,” Byrer said.
She said they’ve become stronger, and Howard’s accomplishments go far beyond graduation. “Your story is proof that our worst chapters don’t have to be our final chapters,” Byrer stated, thanking Howard for being her mom, never giving up, choosing recovery, choosing herself and showing that it’s never too late to change one’s life.
Byrer concluded her speech by telling Howard she loved her more than words can express and she was proud to be able to call her Mom.
A Team & A Community
Reentry Court Coordinator Stephanie Long said she personally didn’t know Howard before she applied for the program, but she really struggled, when they met virtually, to believe that Howard was the same person she had read about.
“A life of substance abuse, drug dealing, lying, cheating, stealing. The person who sat in front of me at that time was someone who had used her time in prison to learn and grow and transform her entire life to become a person she was proud of,” Long said. “As she puts it, she completely broke herself down to nothing and rebuilt her life with the new tools and coping skills that she was learning in RWI. She was ready to reintroduce herself to the court, to the community and to her family.”
In the nine months Long spent working with Howard, she learned a lot about her. “But the thing that stands out to me the most about Mary is her unwavering ability to remember where she came from. Mary’s never tried to forget her past.
She reminds herself where she’s been so she can continue to be proud of where she is now and where she wants to go,” Long said.
She said she believes Howard is an outstanding example of what rehabilitation looks like and how anything is possible if you really want it bad enough and are willing to put the work in for it.
Kosciusko County Commissioner Sue Ann Mitchell told Howard that as she came in, she realized who Howard was and saw all the people gathered around her. “I could see that caring and that warmth in your family and your friends, and that support that you’re going to have,” she said.
Mitchell told Howard it was a new day and fresh start for her.
“For all of you, you have to remember God’s grace will always be greater than your past and that God is not done with your story,” she said. “… May you continue to enjoy and prosper, remembering all the hard work that you invested to get to where you are, so that you have the opportunity to rewrite that story and I know that you will make it a best seller.”
On behalf of the community, Mitchell welcomed Howard back to Kosciusko County as the valuable member of the community that she’s become.
After receiving her certificate and graduation coin from McGrath, Howard said, “I owe a lot to Judge Reed. Thank you. He saved my life. He sentenced me. I was upset at first, but then when I got to DOC, I learned acceptance.”
She not only did the RWI program, but decided to go “above and beyond” to show Reed more than what he asked for out of her.
“I’m just thankful because, if it wasn’t for him, I wouldn’t be who I am today and I’m proud of who I am, with my family. The team here is amazing,” Howard said.
She said Godsey was amazing and didn’t judge her, but helped her get through what she needed to get through.
“… And I’m very thankful that I’m welcomed back into the community as a changed person. But it all boils down to the thanks of Judge Reed saving my life, because I wouldn’t be here today if it wasn’t for him, and I thank him from the bottom of my heart. I owe him a lot,” Howard stated, adding thanks to everyone who helped and supported her along the way.
